The older we get, the harder it becomes to celebrate birthdays. When we were kids, we definitely didn’t have this problem. But for some reason, as we become middle-aged, we gradually start losing interest in our own birthdays. Even those round numbers can become a drag.
When I turned 30, I arranged a big birthday party and we had a blast! I still remember it being one of the best parties ever – I had such a great time – and many friends have later commented fondly on that particular celebration. When I turned 40, I couldn’t care less. I had no motivation or energy to arrange anything, and that’s almost what I ended up with, had it not been for a few close ones who nevertheless decided to arrange something nice.
I wonder why this happens to so many of us? Clearly it doesn’t happen to everyone, but based on my own sample of friends and family, it sure seems to be a common phenomenon. Is it because we don’t like to acknowledge that we’re getting older, one step closer to death? Is it because the older we get, the more bitter we become? Or is it simply so that as we get older, the less self-centered we become, and thus prefer to focus on others instead?
I’m sure one could find tons of studies on this topic, but actually that was not at all the purpose of this article. Instead I would like to argue that there are at least three very good reasons why each of us should celebrate our birthdays each and every year – even in the midst of sickness and sorrow – until the day we draw our last breath.
First and foremost, birthdays are a wonderful reason (or excuse) for gathering your close ones around you. Whether it’s your family or friends, or both, doesn’t really matter. The important thing is that you come together with people who matter to you, and to whom you matter, and hopefully have a good time talking and laughing, or in fact doing whatever feels just right for that moment. This was something I realized vividly today as our family gathered together to celebrate my mother’s 70th birthday.
Second, a birthday is the perfect occasion for thinking about what you’re grateful for in life. And not just thinking about it, but also expressing it. Practicing gratitude is a key technique in the pursuit of a happier life and what better time than a celebration for expressing gratitude. No matter how dire the situation, there’s always something to be thankful for. If nothing else, things could always be even worse, and even that can be cause for gratitude.
Finally, on a birthday, it’s natural to think about the big questions of life. Yes, we’re talking about life, death, the universe – everything. Every once in a while it’s good to contemplate on what you’ve done in your life so far, and what kind of goals you should still pursue. Perhaps make some course corrections? Or just spend some time thinking about the purpose of life in general. Even that exercise alone can be immensely beneficial.
Personally, despite belonging to the category of middle-aged people who have gradually lost interest in their own birthdays, I think it’s time to make a change. It’s time to start treating birthdays with a new mindset, powered by the compelling reasons listed above.
Therefore, I hereby publicly promise that from now I will do my utmost to adhere to my own recommendation – and celebrate all of my forthcoming birthdays until I kick the bucket.